Remembering the We in the Land of I

My Father…thy will be done in me as it is in heaven. Give me today my daily bread. And forgive me my trespasses as I forgive those who trespass against me, and lead me not into temptation, but deliver me from evil…Amen.

            These are almost the words of prayer Jesus gave his disciples. About ten years ago, I decided that the words were a little vague and so I personalized the Lord’s Prayer. I found it very meaningful to pray for me to be in God’s will and for me to pledge to forgive those who trespass against me, and so on.

            The desire to change the way I said the Lord’s Prayer as a part of my personal prayers, came out of a deep longing to take my faith further from mere head knowledge. I wanted to go deeper in my relationship with God. If I am talking to God, why not address God directly? Why not make the prayer more personal? After all, the Apostle Paul wrote in both his letter to the Galatians and Romans that we are God’s children and may call our creator “Abba,” which is the Hebrew word for “Daddy” (Galatians 4:6, Romans 8:15).

            That prayer to my father God did help me to internalize more deeply, the idea of a one on one relationship with God. After some months, I began to enjoy the prayer so much that I wondered why Jesus had not taught his disciples to pray the way I was praying. If that sounds like I was a bit full of myself, then you have got the right idea. My version of the Lord’s Prayer was so much better, Jesus should have taught his disciples to pray like I pray.

            But Jesus, who had more right to that prayer than I did, did not teach us to pray, “My father” and so on. Jesus taught a group to pray, “Our father.” Jesus taught us to pray, not that we would be in God’s will, but the whole earth would be in God’s will. The concern was not whether I get what I need for today, but whether we get our daily bread. Everyone’s needs matter, not just mine.

            Jesus taught his disciples to pray a prayer that they could best pray together. The Lord’s Prayer makes the most sense when a group says the prayer in unison. Interesting isn’t it, that when asked to teach them to pray, Jesus did not teach them a prayer like mine. Jesus did not teach a prayer best prayed alone.

            Please don’t misunderstand me, and take it that I am against personal prayers. I spend far more time in prayer alone than with others. Jesus knew we needed private prayer too. In Matthew’s Gospel (chapter six), before he taught what we call the Lord’s Prayer, he first said that we were not to make a show of our prayers. Those who pray on the street corner and standing in public places have already received their reward.

Jesus taught us to pray in secret and the Father who sees us in the secret of a shut room will reward us. Private personal prayers are of bedrock importance to our journey of faith.

What Jesus taught is that practices of piety—giving an offering to God, praying, fasting—are between you and God. We are not to make a public show, making sure that everyone else knows how holy we are. But with that said, Jesus then teaches a prayer suitable for use by a group.

The Lord’s Prayer itself then teaches more fully what the surrounding scripture teaches, my relationship with God is not only about me. That one on one relationship I have with God is about “we” as well as “I,” “us” as well as “me.” Jesus’ prayer is not all about me, but all about us.

This fits with Jesus’ central teaching—love. The greatest commandment Jesus said is “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.” The second greatest commandment he said is like the first, “Love your neighbor as yourself.”

These dual commandments to love God and love neighbor are necessarily tied together. When you come to love God more fully, you are drawn into love for those who God loves. You can’t really come to love God more while hating the people God loves. Therefore, loving God contributes to love of neighbor. When praying to God, Jesus taught that we may do so together, or even if separate we still remember one another in our prayers.

After all, my daily bread is not enough. I should also pray for others to receive from God what they need for the day. Do I really want to limit God’s will to myself alone? Don’t I really want God’s will done on the whole earth? Why not pray for God’s will to be done on earth then and not just in me?

So after a time of use and some months of reflection, I dropped my personalized Lord’s Prayer. It wasn’t a bad prayer, even if it was self-centered. I still keep my relationship with my Abba God personal, I just try to keep a personal relationship from becoming a self-centered one.

It’s always a struggle and will be in America more than in some parts of the world. We are, and I thank God for it, a land where we stress individual liberty and personal freedom. Free speech is your right, not just the right of the ruling party, as in some countries. This freedom is a wonderful thing, but if we take it too far, we can become the land of I, a place where the self is more important than anything.

Prayer, as Jesus taught it, is not all about me (that probably does not surprise you as much as it did me). Prayer is about us. We approach our Father and pray for his will for all of us. That’s what love of God and love of neighbor sounds like in a short prayer. It turns out that Jesus knew more about prayer than I did all along.

(The Rev. Frank Logue is pastor of King of Peace Episcopal Church in Kingsland.)

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